Tumblr on We Heart It - http://weheartit.com/entry/54677365/
This photo means so much to me. So much it’s crazy. Sienna is only 6 months old… she has a clean slate and a whole life to make mistakes, good and bad. But I will never let her make the same mistakes as me. I will make sure she always knows I’m here for her. She felt my scars for about 15 minutes, she kept looking up at me. From the moment she touched them, she didn’t take her hand away. She fell asleep in my arms, and still had her tiny hands resting on them. I can’t keep her safe from everything. But I will never let these demons take her over too…
Just a few features of my anxiety
- Me: *gets on bus* omg everyone is watching me and judging me and they're going to laugh when the bus starts and im not sitting down, omg dont put your ticket in the wrong way or everyone will judge you and laugh at you.
- Me: *goes to pay for shopping* omg what if I dont have enough money? *counts money out 20 times* what if I look stupid, or say the wrong thing? am I standing in the right spot even? What if someone else wants to get past and im in the way, omg.
- Me: *says hey to someone online* omg, they arent replying, holy shit why am I so annoying? what if they tell their friends how annoying and lame I am? Why am I like this, holy shit.
- Me: *meets someone new* What if they dont like me and dont want me to be around, I shouldnt have met them, im going to be a burden, they're probably critisizing me right now, why am I the way I am?
“If a clock could count down to the moment you meet your soul mate, would you want to know?”
lol yes, so then i can shave.
Because I’m a morbid asshole this is what I began thinking of:
You look at it nearly every day. It’s still up there, years away in fact, and that’s fine. But sometimes you watch it. You watch the number tick away and you wonder and you dream and you try not to expect too much because you know no matter what it’ll be perfect. One a year when it becomes the exact future anniversary you watch it and count down to 0 and get giddy. Only ten more years. Only seven more years. Only four more years.
Then one day you wake up. You stretch. You smile. You check. Just because. And something is wrong. All the numbers say 0. Something horrible has happened.
Everything was fine until that ending. Now go to your room and think about what you have done.